Being a (step) mom :)

I don't know that I've ever believed anyone when they told me that once you are a parent your life changes. When a child comes out of your body and they are a part of you that is one of the most blessed things I can say that I have ever witnessed in my life.

I feel so awful sometimes because it takes something to happen with Malachi for me to realize that I should have reacted differently about it with Elijah.  It's almost embarrassing.  I try so hard to be as fair as possible to both boys but I must admit there is a huge learning curve to being a step parent and if I can help anyone with this post I hope I do.

It's difficult for someone in my position to be as close to (in my case) Elijah as I wish.  It's sad, because I am like this because I'm trying to be sensitive to his mother and not be obsessing about her son, even though I love him like my own.  Because he deserves as much love as possible, because he is a sweet sweet little boy and I would give my life for him I love him so much.

There have been a few very obvious things in our past that has made me feel the way I do about Elijah and our situation.  Most recently was the kids' report cards from school.  As a mom you feel so proud of them, and now that I have Malachi in school I understand how special these weekly reports are.  I apologize for not understanding this sooner... it wasn't intentional, there is definitely something biological about seeing something written about your flesh and blood that makes you react on it. 

As I find these

throughout the house I will be adding them to our blog... because Elijah is as much of a part of our family, this blog, and my life as anyone else is and I am honored to have a 'mother' type role in his little world.  He is a blessing to our life and family and I couldn't love him more.  I feel bad for not taking a closer look at them and am happy that my experience with Malachi has made me look and adjust as quickly as I have so as to not miss out on some of these things for Elijah :) because this is his world also ;)

FYI - sometimes when I publish posts I back date to when they actually happened, not necessarily when I am writing them (except this post ;) ... so occassionally if you are curious feel free to browse through my past blog moments and I'm sure there will be some inserted that will be new to you (because they are new to the blog ;)

Love,

Step-Mom in training :)