my experience as a mom... founding a mom's group

when Malachi was 4 months old I felt really lonely. I remember the day I looked outside and saw 2 of my neighbors pushing strollers and laughing together. I didn't know these mom's, or any new moms actually... and it was really big gap that I felt I wanted to fill for myself.

I am definately a 'go getter' when it comes to doing something for myself... (thanks to my mom for making me that way ;)so when I didn't find any mom's groups open for the public in my area I found a way to create one myself using www.meetup.com. I was a bit worried for the first year being the only organizer who handled the requests when people applied for membership into the group. There were a couple 'issues' with pretty psychotic people wanting to belong to an organization of stay at home moms with their little ones. Unfortunately the world isn't as warm and fuzzy as one would like to believe... especially in the internet age... and one day I found out I might have let a predator into our group. :(

I was raped when I was 13 by 2 wretched men in their late 20's.  I have seen the face of a monster and would not want to put anyone else there ever.  A couple of my 7 brothers have been victims of rape/molestation by older men as well and I have seen the disgusting alterations that happen to ones mind when they are a victim of sexual assault.  That was my number one fear when I had 37 strange women who I met over the internet to my Issaquah home one day.  The group went on for years, it's an active group today as a matter of fact... at one point there were over 200 moms as I was the main organizer... if you can imagine the drama that I tried to manage for that long.

I am a middle child of 12 kids.  I am familiar with large organizations, and my family is all extremely social, so I understand the dynamics of that as well.  (not that I am perfect in DEALING with the situations ;) ... who really is?! ... I did what I could and I made decisions to the best of my ability with the Issaquah Mom's Group.

A tragedy occured one evening when my nightmare came true within the group that I founded.  An allegation of a sexual assault is in the King County Court system at this time.  I felt and feel horrible as it has permanently altered the lives of those involved forever.  I received an email from a former member of the group last night... it does not surprise me that the drama didn't cease when I removed myself from the group last year ... I had moved about an hour away a couple years and was only holding onto my old group as I'm also the type of person who doesn't walk away easily from an obligation that I've created/started.  There were 2 of the main organizers who didn't see eye to eye, and I knew that they were both such strong personalities that one of them would end up 'defeating' the other... and I felt bad as I had asked them both to be organizers under me when the group was in the early stages.  They were unable to work together on a small project, so I don't really know why I expected them to work together on a larger scale.  I'm sad to say that the group that was originally started and my goal for the group has evolved embarrassingly to me. 

The big issue that seems to have created all of this drama is this: and I ask you to ask yourself this question in your own life, put your family, or your loved ones as the subjects of this nightmare, and then if you are confident enough in your opinion please comment.

Once the court case is over I'll share more details on the incident that occured - but in the meantime, I encourage you to think about the people you invite over to your house.  Do you know them? How? Did you meet them online? Safety and privacy have evolved in the internet age and there are monsters out there... they look like dads, they look like sons, they look like brothers, they look like best friends.  You don't know if you know one until they are either caught, or make a mistake. 

See what Ted Bundy did in Issaquah
Here's another story about a horrible monster

That sucks for the wifes, the moms, the sisters and the best friends.  But I don't allow monsters in my life, or around my families life... it's the most basic thing I can provide for my kids and my family... SAFETY. 

I hope no one takes this blog personally... this is strictly my opinion on a very delicate situation and I want the very best (and safety) for any person.

Here is an article about the group a few years back...