(named 'Big Daddy... no joke') and I feel like it's taken me the last 4 1/2 months getting to where I feel right about letting them relax with me relaxing... in the same room.
I had spread myself too thin, you see... trying to do too much and forgetting sometimes about the most important friends I have... my own kiddos and my handsome man. It's part of my personality, I just get excitable easy and one thing leads to another... and I'm growing a rose garden ;)
Our wedding is on August 14th... it is going to be the most special day in so many ways. Our family has had quite a little ride with Erik and I and although from the bottom of my heart I have never doubted what a perfectly amazing guy Erik was... but with the bouts of sadness I would get from my bad choices in my life I was having the most difficult time getting over it at times while I was in our relationship. I struggled so badly with the fact that he wasn't ok with having another child. It was no question in my mind at all that I would have a second child (honestly if not a 3rd or a 4th in the right situation)... so when that wasn't going to work out at one point we really would hit a difficult spot in our journey together.
This is our website for our wedding:
Erik and Sarah's Wedding Website
I can't wait to perfect it... for now it's really important to me as it holds the story that Erik wrote for me on our 3 year anniversary this past December. It was one of the most special things I have ever read really as not only does Erik do such a good job telling 'our story' but I feel like I relive our love road each time I read it and it is so powerful to me some of the battles and obstacles we have overcome.
One of the best compliments I have received lately to milepoint our success with our family structure is that from Ms. Schumacher (Elijah's Kindergarten Teacher) ~ she told me that out of the 400 students that she's taught, she's never seen a better co-parenting situation with as much communication and such agreeable parties. Elijah is excelling so well because of this I know... we were really getting worried that we wouldn't be able to 'figure it out' in the best way. I didn't want to be one of those step-mom's that can't stand the bio-mom and vice versa, but Brandy and I are both extremely strong willed self thinking women and it was harder than we thought to collide into each others life in the way that we did and share being the 'mom' for Elijah. I am beyond proud of our last few years.... we know that it's best for Elijah to all be happy, get along, not argue and just try to do things the best way we know how. BUT at the end of the day, we're still human... none of us have had experience before being a parent, so Elijah is teaching US things about how to do this even at times (thank God ;). I feel like the biggest accomplishment is not throwing a fit if something doesn't go exactly to plan when you think it should. People are people so they're gonna have different opinions, make mistakes, not know how to do something, get jealous, get sad, have PMS... there are all kinds of reasons co-parenting doesn't always work out. But Brandy and I have decided to put past behind and if we make mistakes... we make mistakes... if we aren't perfect... we aren't perfect... we love Elijah Zion Noet Gray from the bottom of all of our hearts so not much more matters. Especially trying to make peoples life that HE LOVES more difficult.
well... I guess that's good for now... gosh while I type I think of sooo many things I want to blog about :) So much to catch up on! :) I won't take such a long break next time for my next post :)
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